I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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