Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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