It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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