Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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