If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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