As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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