I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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