in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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