wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize