new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize