all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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