I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize