Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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