Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize