Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize