but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize