My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize