Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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