i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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