I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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