I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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