I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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