Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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