just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize