While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize