Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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