I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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