Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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