So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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