Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize