What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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