and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
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Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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