Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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