Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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