Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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(541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested http://tfl.nu/888p

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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(480): I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral. http://tfl.nu/j7go

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(805): View more from California

I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.

(1-805): View more from California

You do realize that you broke up with him, right?

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(805): I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose. (1-805): You do realize that you broke up with him, right? http://tfl.nu/4u3s

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

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(401): Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified. http://tfl.nu/2va0

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.

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(732): There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish. http://tfl.nu/b1hn

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(818): View more from California

I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

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(818): I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire http://tfl.nu/rfl8

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(520): View more from Arizona

I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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(520): I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour http://tfl.nu/ht3n

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

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(306): I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious. http://tfl.nu/psu6

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(971): View more from Oregon

Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

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(971): Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars? http://tfl.nu/yo90

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.

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(908): Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more. http://tfl.nu/qarz

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(419): View more from Ohio

Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.

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(419): Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate? (1-419): Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly. http://tfl.nu/ok5v

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(208): View more from Idaho

Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.

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(208): Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now. http://tfl.nu/bdx8

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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(862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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(908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u

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(440): View more from Ohio

My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.

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(440): My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b. http://tfl.nu/x8nr

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