I bet he comes in French.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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