I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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