I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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