I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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