my mouth tastes like poor choices
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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