When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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