I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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