shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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