you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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