Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i believe in u and ur pee
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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