You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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