seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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