You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize