Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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