I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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